My Light
by Matthew Felix Braginski
Summary: Canada thinks he's all alone and that no one loves him and does the only thing he can think of. But what is he was wrong and some one loved him. Is it to late or can he find love and be happy? First fanfic. Yaoi. OOC
1. Meetings

**My Light**

**It had just snowed and most people were out enjoying the fresh snow, but not Matthew. He sat on his bed crying. Why is he crying? Well you see no one notices him. To everyone he is invisible and he hates it. Who is this person you may be asking yourself. He is Matthew Williams otherwise know as Canada. You see all nations take the form of a person and how the person acts, if there hurt, or even killed changes the whole country and its people. And this is were our story starts with a sad Canadian crying on his bed. ( I don't own Hetalia, some characters may be ooc sometime, and this is my first FanFic)**

**(( I have fixed some of the spelling and changed some sentences so if have read this before you might want to go back and read it over. But you don have to though. It wont change much)) **

**"Hello"- talking**

'_**Hello**_**'-thinking**

~Matthew's Pov~

"Why do they never notice me?" I asked my only friend Kumajiro. He looks over at me and tilts his head.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Canada" I said with a sigh. '_Why doesn't he remember me? I take care of him all the time and remember him. Well I don't remember his name but I still know he's there. Uhhh! Doesn't anyone love me?! They wouldn't even notice if I died. That's it! If I die then I wont have to suffer anymore!'_

Quickly I got up and grabbed the knife out the bedside table and ran into the bathroom. I get into the bathtub and slowly pull up the sleeves on my red hoodie and reveal the scars from pervious self-inflicted cuts.

"This is it. Its over after this. I wonder if I should leave a note. No. No one would even look for me. But what if one of my people do? Uhhh!" I get out of the tub and go back to my room to get paper and a pen.

"Food?" Kuma asks I am looking through my stuff.

"I left you some food in the kitchen Kumichiki" I said as I found my paper and wrote down a short note, and set it down on the desk. I went back into the bathroom and locked the door. Then for the second time today I got ready to kill myself. Thinking about how I don't matter and how no one loves me I make the cut. I think of how this is for the best as I cut my wrists more and make it deeper and watch as the blood flowed out of me like a river. Soon I close my eyes and welcome death with open arms.

*meanwhile this is going on*~Russia Pov~

'_Today's the day! Today's the day I tell Matvey how I feel about him. Finally after all this time I get to tell him! I am afraid that he would not like me because of my scariness or because if my past but I have to tell him. I only hope that I wont do something to him that will make him hate me. Like the time I sat on him even though I went over there to talk to him.' _I think to myself as I walk to the nice, barely noticeable house in the forest with a dozen sunflowers in my hands. As I get to the door I feel the need to turn and run but I force my feet to move on and knock on the door. No answer. Again I knock. Same result.

'_Ok now there must be something wrong.' _I think to myself as I start to think of the worst possible scenarios of what could of happed to Matvey but I push them away as I do the only thing I could think of. I break the door. Not worrying about the broken door I step inside the house and follow a loud noises I hear in a different room. When I found the room, which was the kitchen, I was suspired to see no one there but the noises didn't stop. I look around to see if I can find something and I do. I find Matvey's cute little bear eating. '_He might tell me were he is!'_

"Have you seen you Matvey Kuma?"

"Who?" The bear asks looking up from his food.

"Your master."

"Oh. Upstairs." That's all he said and went back to eating.

'_So he is alright than. That's good that he's ok but now I have to pay for his door. Oh well at least he's fine'_ Slowly I walk upstairs in search of my Matvey.

I look through all the rooms in search of him. I come to the last door at the end of the hallway. The only one I have not yet opened. _'He must be in there!' _Slowly I turn the knob and open the door only to find no Canada. Again I get worried and start the put curses on every country that could have taken him but a sigh of relief escapes me when I see the bathroom light on.

"Matvey?" No answer.

"Matvey?" Again no answer.

"Are you aright?" I ask getting closer to the door. I put my ear against the door and listen for any sound and when I don't hear any I panic. With all my strength I break the door and step inside the bathroom. What I see in the bathroom makes my hear stop. My Matvey covered in bright red blood and not moving. Quickly I move over to him and cheek for a pulse. He has none. My beloved Matvey is dead.

**Thank you for reading. : ) **


	2. Confessions

**My Light Ch.2**

**Again Everything is the same it was before. OH! And thank you all for the reviews! They just make me want to write more so again thanks. (I changed this chapter a little too. I will do the third one as soon as i can and write a new chapter!)**

"**Hello"- Talking**

'_**Hello**_**'- Thinking **

Chapter 2

*Canada Pov*

'_Where am I? Is this death? Well if it is then I like it. Its very warm, and there is no one here so no one will ever forget me. I should have done this a long time ago._' I think to myself as I look into the blackness that I assume to be death.

'_Than again if I'm dead then shouldn't I have gone to heaven? Or even Hell? Where am I if I'm not there?' _I try to move and its like something or someone is holding me down. '_and why cant I move?! Don't tell me I didn't die!'_ I start to panic and try to find a way out of this blackness. '_Are my eyes even open?!' _Slowly I try to open my eyes feeling so stupid for not trying that before and as soon as I do I am blinded by a bright light.

*Russia Pov (while this is happening)*

"MATVEY?!" I drop onto my knees and start to sob. "I-if only I told you sooner t-then maybe you might not be d-dead! P-please come back. P-please!' This is the first time I have very cried this much, well since General Winter left anyway.

After what seamed like hours I got up and started to clean Matvey off. Every time I notice more cuts on his body I cringe and look away only to repeat the process. "Why Matvey?" Finally when I finish I got up with Matvey in my arms and place him on his bed.

"Who?"

I look over to the side only to see Kuma sitting on toilet next to me. "Your Master That's Who!"

"Canada?"

"YES!… Wait did you just say Canada?"

"Yes." Kuma said and went to lay down next to Matvey. '_So he knew who he is? Why dose he say his name once he's dead?!'_

Sadly I look over at Matvey only to see him move a little. With that little movement my whole heart jumps and I hold his body closer to mine. I cheek for a pulse and what do you know, he has one! '_Oh my Matvey is alive! Now I can tell him I love him and we will live happily together. But what if he doesn't love me back? Then what do I do?_' I was so engrossed in my own thoughts I didn't notice a certain blond open his eyes.

*Canada Pov*

My eyes slowly adjust to the light and the first thing I see is Russia. '_Oh look its Russia…RUSSIA?! Am I right? Did I just see Russia? I must be seeing things. I mean why else would the big Russian be kneeling by me? Why is he here? Did he save me? He probably thinks I'm America and is thinking how to kill me again. Just great.' _I don't say anything in hopes that he doesn't notice that I'm awake and just listen to him and see if he's going to say anything that will help me figure out why he was here.

"Matvey why did you do this to yourself? Don't you know I love you?!" he said to himself and my breath hicks.

'_He knows who I am? A-and he loves me?!' _Too bad for me when my breath hiked he heard me.

"M-Matvey? He asks and turns his head so I can see his tear streaked face.

"Yes?"

"Your alive! This is very good da?" as he said this he did the most unimaginable thing you would think Russia to do. He hugged me. Russia? Hugs? Those two don't go together but when he dose it seams like everything is right and that I belong in that gentle, warm embrace. But then I remember something. Why is he here?

"Um…Russia?"

"Da?"

"Why are you here?"

"Oh I came to see Matvey and I…..I found you dead." He said as he looks down sadly.

"O-ok and one more thing."

"Da?"

"You s-said you love me. I-is that true?" As soon as those words left my mouth I realized what I said and got was ready to get hit but I never did. I look up to see a very strange site. A big Russian super power blushing like a little schoolgirl.

-**Another Chapter is up! Hope you liked it : )**


	3. Fealings

**Hey sorry for not updating! First I had a project that I had to finish, and the I tried to write in class but I wasn't able to because of all the note I had to write and if it wasn't that then someone always wanted me and I could not get any time in for writing. I'm sooo sorry to all of my fans (I have fans!…..sorry about that -_-) and reviewers! Oh and for anyone who reads this and has not figured it out yet, and if you haven't you're stupid (its ok if you didn't), this is a yaoi! Like boy x boy! If you don't like don't read! Ok on with the story.**

"**Hello"=talking**

'**Hello'= thinking**

Chapter 3

Russia Pov.

'What do I say? Should I lie? No, no I should tell him the truth. But what if he doesn't love me back then what will I do?' I think to myself as I look down at my shoes afraid to look him in the face.

"R-Russia?" I still don't answer nor do I look up afraid to the face of the one I love the most. Slowly I take a deep breath and nod my head.

"S-so you do like me?" He asks in his cute, quiet voice, but also in a way if I say no he will break. "Well do you? You don't right…." I could hear he was crying as he said that. Quickly I look up and hugged him, afraid he might go away.

"NO NO NO! I do love you more than anything else in the world!" As soon as I realize what I said a huge blush creeps up onto my face.

"R-really?" I nod. "Then why didn't you ever talk to me? You even sat on me once!"

"B-because…" I don't want to say it but I know I have to. "Because I don't know how. All my life I had someone as my master or I was the master. I don't know how to talk to someone that I want as my equal. I'm sorry if I hurt you." I get up to leave but stopped by a hand grabbing mine

"Don't" He said so quietly that I almost did not hear him "Please stay." This surprised me but I sat back down non the less."Ok if you want me to then I will, Dose that you love me too?"

Canada Pov.

'YES! I do love you! I always did!' is what I wanted to say but instead I only blushes and looked at the opposite wall. "I …yes" I said after a long time of just sitting there. Next thing I know im in the arms of the not so nice turned nice Russian.

"I'm so glad! Now we can live together and be happy da? We can become one and no one can stop us then, and you will be noticed because your with me! And we can take over Alaska and make our land closer to each other! An-" he keeps going but I don't listen after that.

'Is he really that happy that I said yes? I mean am just as happy but not like him. Did he say live together?….Wait! This is for land isn't it! He even talked about the land! He acts nice and then will treat me like a slave like he did with the Baltics! Uhhh! How could I have thought that he loves me no one loves me. How could I think I could trust him?'I push him away and look at him angrily or at least as angry as I can get my face to look (its more like a cut pout)

"W-What?" he asks with a confused face that he never shows, and if yo ask me its supper cute.

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"Doing what?"

"Trying to trick me into liking you and making me your slave like you did the Baltics!" I said angrily.

"W-what? Is that what you think? I love you! I know I did bad things for others a long time ago but I love you and would not do that to you! I would die for you!" His eyes pleading and asking me to believe him.

"I…."

**Me: I will try to update soon! Thanks for reading! **

**Canada: Please review or I will **

**Russia: And if he cries I beat your face in. *smiles* ^**J

**Me: Till next time!**


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